Love Test – How Do You Become A Love Master?
It’s as true as it ever was–What the world needs now is love, sweet love. Find out how to be a Love Master when you take a simple love test.
Infidelity In Film – Does Mr. Holland’s Opus Show You How To Save A Marriage?
Hollywood films that deal with infidelity often portray the delights of a fresh romance and the resulting damage in the familiar relationship, in the affair or in both.
I noticed a refreshing formula change in Mr. Holland’s Opus–the 1995 film now revived on Showtime for its timeless themes and performances.
Mr. Holland’s Opus asks soulful questions about enduring marriages:
If you put your career dreams on hold for the good of your relationship, what happens when you are tempted by a seductive chance to revive your dreams and start fresh? Is your enduring relationship disposable or worth preserving?
Richard Dreyfuss opens a window into his soul as he faces these questions in the title role of Glen Holland, a frustrated composer who finds fulfillment as a high school music teacher, a husband and father.
He lets his wife, played with gentle brilliance by Gleanne Headley, deal with challenges of having a deaf son who can’t share his father’s love of music until his father has a change of heart.
This change is prompted by his irresistible attraction to a gifted student. It begins when Glen Holland nurtures the immense singing talents of a high school senior for the class musical. He writes a gorgeous song which he names after her but never shows her, thereby channeling his sexual attraction creatively.
His student responds to his encouragement to fulfill her dream as a singer in New York. She invites him to go to New York with her to fulfill their vast musical talents and their passionate attraction.
Glen Holland digs deep into his core values, trying to resist his primal urge to accept her offer. Richard Dreyfuss is riveting in his silent soul searching.
Then he makes a brave decision to do what’s best for both of them. It’s a choice that protects her and his marriage, and this nourishes future growth in his relationships with his wife and son.
How many couples have made the alternate decision to dispose of the familiar relationship in favor of tempting delight of starting fresh? How many families and dreams were broken apart because of it? The divorce statistics are heartbreaking.
I’m wondering if couples need to learn how to say no to temptation for the well being of their families and themselves. If so, I suggest you watch Mr. Holland’s Opus to see how this choice is made and ultimately rewarded by the profound fulfillment of revived dreams and resilient family love.
And if you’re single and dating, I suggest you watch this film to get a realistic view of the joys and challenges of an enduring relationship.
If you’re seeking your best match, I invite you to claim a singles free months membership in the singles club in Tribe Of Blondes.
Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our adventures in loving and living our dreams now.
No more blind dates for the Tribe Of Singles who meet in video chats and singles travel vacations for every budget.
You don’t post your age, so you can find love at any age.
Meet new single friends and travel companions, enjoy telephone chats with experts with tips for greater health, wealth, happiness and love.
Ready to claim your singles free trial membership?
Click on SINGLES CLUB in the menu bar and sign up now. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Marriage Advice: 3 Ways to Get Your Needs Met
***QUESTION FROM A READER:
“[My problem is] my husband’s inability to take the initiative in our relationship, to find what I like/want. He is unable to make me feel like a woman. I feel needed not loved.
“Is this his personality and can he change or is what we have now all there will ever be?
“If my needs cannot be met, I think I will try to leave this marriage again. I agreed to stay if things change. He believes he has changed dramatically, but he is even more insecure now.
“Why is it that it is mostly women who look for information to solve these problems? Men need to be made aware of how we feel, and start doing something about it.
“My husband admitted he knew I was unhappy but did not see divorce as an option. How long did he think a relationship could go on like this?”
>>>OUR COMMENTS:
Wow! We really hear you.
You, like a lot of other women, are tired of doing ALL the work on the relationship.
You want him to step up to the plate and and you feel like it’s not happening.
You say he’s unable to make you feel like a woman and you feel NEEDED not loved!
And he may not have a clue how to go about giving you what you want–let alone think of doing it on his own.
Now of course by answering this woman’s question, we are in no way implying that ALL men are like this–not being able to give the women they love what they want.
But what we do know from research–ours and others–as a broad generalization, (and we do mean broad) women are the ones who are more interested in personal growth and making their relationships better.
Women by in large are the ones who will lead their partners to therapy, coaching or relationship books and courses.
Again, as a generalization, men tend to seek out relationship help only when the relationship is falling apart and will end very soon if they don’t do something quickly.
Why is this?
Episode 20 – How Do You Develop 3 Qualities Of Happy Couples?
Would you like to enjoy a happy relationship? Learn how to use 3 simple skills to create more happiness and joy in your romantic relationship. (4:30)
Episode 20 – How Do You Develop 3 Qualities Of Happy Couples?
Would you like to enjoy a happy relationship? Learn how to use 3 simple skills to create more happiness and joy in your romantic relationship. (4:30)
Guide To Healthy Relationships – How Does A Tribe Value Success And Love?
I often tell the Tribe of Blondes that it’s not a hair color but a resilient, optimistic spirit that unites us and fuels our adventures. In that spirit, the Southern Ute Tribe has married environmental optimism and American capitalistic ambition to develop a new business and biofuel. Find out how you may benefit from the way this Tribe values success and love.
How does a Tribe align its values with its investments?
By making decisions now that make life better for us and future generations. Compare those tribal values with most businesses, which worry only about bottom line for the next quarter.
Our children’s children may reap benefits from the success of a business venture between the Southern Ute Indian Tribe in Southwest Colorado and a local Professor who have combined resources to create a renewable energy source through a start up company named Solix Biofuels.
The New York Times reported that Solix has twin goals of making fuel from algae and reducing emissions of heat-trapping gasses.
Solix Co-founder is Colorado State University Professor Bryan Wilson, who introduced a strain of algae that loves carbon dioxide (CO2) into a water tank placed next to a natural gas processing plant that emits CO2.
This neighborly placement of the algae tank is designed for access to the CO2 waste stream which will be used to nourish the Solix algae. It’s a kind of biological recycling of CO2 before its discharge into the atmosphere as the vegetable fuel is burned.
What are other potential benefits of this business venture?
The gas-processing plant also produces waste heat which can be used to warm the neighboring algae beds in winter.
Another benefit of the Solix placement in the high desert plateau of southwest Colorado is it’s one of the sunniest spots in the nation, providing solar radiation that accelerates algae growth.
To Southern Ute tribal leaders, this business model is about more than business. “It’s a marriage of an older way of thinking into a modern time,” said tribe Chairman, Matthew J. Box, referring to the interplay between environmental consciousness and investment opportunity around algae.
Mr. Box told the NY Times that his 1,400 member Tribe has a long history of using herbal medicine–which made growing algae for fuel an appealing investment that is aligned with tribal values.
How much did they invest in this biofuel business?
The Tribe contributed almost a third of the $20 million in captial raised by Solix, plus free use of tribal land for the project and over $1 million in equipment. The Tribe views it as a long-term investment that could be the next billion dollar energy boom.
How will the Solix business model be a success?
The hope is that power plants and other types of factories that vent carbon dioxide will allow Solix to build an algae farm next to their carbon dioxide vent pipes.
The plant could then sell the oil or biodiesel fuel created as the algae eats the CO2.
And Solix would earn its return by being part owner and operator or by licensing the technology, possibly on a commercial scale throughout the Western United States.
What about their competition?
More than 200 other companies (including Exxon oil) are trying to find a cost effective way to achieve the same goal of turning algae into vegetable oil fuel, according to the National Renewable Energy Lab in Golden, Colorado.
A Lab manager, Al Darzins, said that the Solix method is different from most–in the vertical alignment of algae in water tanks to increase yield. Mr. Darzins said that the success of this interesting idea will depend on whether it works at what cost. “It’s all going to come down to the economics.”
What’s the payoff for the Tribe’s aligning its values with it’s investments?
Southern Utes is one of the nation’s wealthiest communities of American Indians thanks to its energy and real estate investments. It’s debt has received the highest “AAA” rating, assigned by Karl Jacob, the Standard & Poors executive.
Jacobs said the Tribe had proved a canny investor by doing its homework and not moving too fast. He concluded, “They have always been prudent, looking out into the next generation.”
Do you align your values with your investment choices?
How could the Tribe Of Singles model these values while choosing a romantic partner and creating a healthy relationship with lasting love?
And if you’re single and seeking your great love match, I invite you to claim a free, 30-day trial membership in our Tribe Of Singles – the Singles Club in Tribe Of Blondes.
Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our adventures. Start meeting savvy singles in video chats, book discussions and travel vacations. Claim your
free trial membership when you click on SINGLES CLUB at the top of this page. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Your Love Guide – How Can You Reach The Highest Standard Of Loving?
Would you like to out-love most mortals? Follow the lead of my personal love guide. When my father-in-law died at age 91, he had out-lived two wives, one of his children and all of his closest friends. He’d been happily married to his third wife for 40 years when their love story ended, just moments after she kissed him and then he passed away during a nap.
His tender passing was a well-deserved blessing for an immensely lovable, kind-hearted and honorable man. As I give thanks for his being a mighty positive force in our family life, I’d like to reach his high standard of loving, and live up to the Love Lessons he taught us by his actions:
Love Lesson One: Family First
He offered fatherly support during life’s painful challenges, like the untimely deaths of my parents.
He traveled cross country to celebrate career successes of his children and the births of his grand children.
He marked his personal milestones by gathering his children and grandchildren for a family vacation.
He gave children a Philadelphia handshake that rattled their arms and created unshakable memories.
He waited till his 80th birthday to explain how he earned his medals during WWII.
His word was his bond throughout his professional and personal life.
He was proud to be fiercely loyal, both as a husband and in his relationships with colleagues, family and friends.
Love Lesson Two: Protect Family Bonds From Death Or Divorce
After his second wife died, he stayed in touch with her family for the well being of their young children.
Before he married his third wife, he made sure she would spend time with the families of his former wives, which she did happily.
After his son initiated our divorce, he continued to be a magnificent father figure to me and a loving grandfather to my children with his son.
He often joked that he was the easiest guy to get along with, as long as you took his way or the highway.
When he took the path with heart, he showed us how to joyfully blend our extended families.
Love Lesson Three: Know The Secret of Joyful Living and Loving
As my 21 year old daughter expressed sadness over losing her grandfather, she confronted her fear of losing her own dad and me one day. She said she didn’t want to die, either.
“Those feelings are a wake up call to action,” I said with a tender hug to help her through this crossroads. “You have to face your own mortality, before you’re free to live fully and love deeply. You go for love, even though you risk losing it.”
She nodded thoughtfully, and then packed her carry-on bag for her Eastbound flight to attend her grandfather’s funeral with her brother, father and his second wife.
I mourned his passing privately, honoring the request of my former husband who had helped me through the pain of losing both parents twenty years ago. I wanted to spare my former husband any additional pain that my presence might cause him at his father’s funeral.
That decision didn’t help bond our blended families as my father-in-law had done so beautifully. Although he thought of himself as a regular guy, I see him as a guiding beacon who set the highest standard of loving that we all can strive to reach. I am forever grateful for his loving guidance that survives his passing and lives on in all who knew and loved him. Since love leaves traces, take great care in choosing your Love Guides.
I hope you’ll use these Love Tips to reach the highest standard of loving in your intimate relationship. If you’re single and seeking to meet your great love match, I invite you to claim a free, 30-day membership in the Singles Club of Tribe Of Blondes.
Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our adventures in loving and living our dreams now. Start meeting our tribe of singles in video chats, book discussions (aka TelePowWows) and travel vacations. Click on SINGLES CLUB at the top of this page and sign up now. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Pow Wow Shows Episode 15 – Do You Know Why Resilience Is The Secret Key To Healthy Relationships?
Find out how a hearty resilience helps you create a healthy relationship. And how a resilient optimism turns your search
for love into an adventure.
Your Guide To Healthy Relationships – Do You Know 9 Secrets Of A Long, Happy Life?
Author and adventurer, Dan Buettner, studied the world’s healthiest centenarians and identified 9 common practices that seem to aid in extreme longevity. He calls these practices “The Power Nine,” or the nine rules any person can follow in the hopes of emulating the world’s longest-living humans he studied in Sardinia, Okinawa, Costa Rica, and Loma Linda, California.
I’ve summarized Dan Buettner’s findings, which were reported in National Geographic Adventurer Magazine, so that you can use these secrets to raise your life expectancy and reach your peak of happiness.
The Power Nine: Secrets of long life from the world’s healthiest humans
1. Move: Find ways to stay active
Walking briskly each day promotes greater health and less long-term damage to your body than vigorous running or impact exercises which can cause chronic inflammation.
2. Plan de Vida: Discover your purpose in life
Take time to know what your values are and act out of those values each day. These are two important ingredients in the formula for happiness. We have measurable proof that happier people live longer than unhappy people.
3. Downshift: Take a break
Set aside time each day in which you de-stress in your favorite healthy way.
4. 80% Rule: Don’t overeat
In Okinawa they say hara hachi bu, which means eat until you are 80 percent full. How can you consciously cut out 20 percent of your calories? For one thing, eat off of lunch-size plate at dinner—as Okinawans do.
5. Plant Power: Choose greens
Learn how to prepare plant-based meals, only adding meat or fish a couple times each week.
Plant and care for your own garden, to organically nourish and exercise your body, mind, spirit as you tend to your garden each day.
6. Red Wine: A glass a day
A Sardinian red wine has triple the antioxidants of other known wines. Many Sardinians drink their red wine daily and enjoy healthy lives past age ninety.
7. Belong: Stay social
Stay connected with family and friends during meals or daily activities.
8. Beliefs: Get ritualistic
A weekly walk in nature with friends is a ritual that promotes health and builds community.
9. Your Tribe: Choose wisely
Cut out the toxic people in your life and spend time and effort augmenting your social circle with people who have the right values and a healthy lifestyle.
And if you’re seeking a tribe of supportive friends for travel vacations or your great love match, I invite you to claim a free, 30-day trial membership in the Singles Club of Tribe of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our adventures.
Claim your free month membership when you click on SINGLES CLUB at the top of this page. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Crime, Comedy and Cute Guys
Are you one of those people who tends to crack a joke when you’re in trouble?
Is it because fear brings out the urge to laugh, or is it that laughter helps us get though the worst of times? With all the doom and gloom around these days, don’t we all need a ray of sunshine and a few good belly laughs?
We’re Alice and Roy, the husband-wife team behind the pen name Allyson Roy, and our new book — BABYDOLL — is loaded with mega-doses of humor in a fast-paced crime adventure with “hot guys and women who know how to hold their own.” (Front Street Reviews)Pardon us for a brief shout out about book #1 in the SaylorOz series winning an RWA Kiss of Death Daphne du Maurier Award. Woo-hoo! APHRODISIAC also got a Five Blue Ribbons review from Romance Junkies.
Thanks, RJ, for having us here today!In BABYDOLL Saylor Oz and her BFF Benita Morales are at it again, bickering and bantering like a stand-up comedy team. But they also portray two women with personal insecurities like the rest of us, making the same kind of mistakes (okay, maybe we wouldn’t go quite so far as breaking into a psycho killer’s apartment), and with a deep and loyal friendship that’s lasted longer than their relationships with men.Saylor is a tiny, warmhearted oddball who grew up with the horrendous nickname, Munchkin. Her relentless determination to come through for people who need her gets her into situations that make her look ridiculous, not to mention risking her life. Andeven though she’s a sex therapist who helps couples, her own love life has been mostly taking care of way too needy guys attracted by her nurturing personality. But with the appearance of Eldridge Mace and Johnny Lavender, she’s got a different set of problems on her hands.Benita is more cynical. She’s an obsessively frugalfinancial analyst, a hard line do-it-yourselfer and a female pro boxer. Herring name is Binnie the Bitch, and she’s not afraid to get physical withobnoxious pendejos. But in BABYDOLL she’s feeling totally helpless when her youngest brother is wrongly convicted of murderingthree fashion models. Saylor gets hooked on theidea that there’s a connection between the realkiller and a retro, X-rated movie called Bad, Bad Babydoll. Of course, everybody thinks Saylor’s gone bughouse, especially Johnny Lavender, the sexy P.I. on the case. But Benita’s desperateto free her brother, so she joins Saylor in their usual screwball, hit-and-misssleuthing. Before they know it, they’ve gotten in dangerously over their heads– with Saylor playing killer bait.For our readers who asked for moreof half Mohawk, half Irish, committment-phobe boxer Eldridge Mace, yes he’s back! But this time Saylor’s also got sparks flying with P.I. Johnny Lavender. BTW– Saylor’s love lifedoesn’t resolve itself in each book. It’s kindof like your favorite TV shows where a good part of the fun is witnessing theups and downs and changes that keep us guessing week to week, but she makesgradual progress toward an HEA in the final installment.
Stop by and read an excerpt of both books at AllysonRoy.comWe hope Saylor Oz can put some laugh-out-loud moments into your summer!
