If You Are Happy And You Know It…
You think I should be allowed to be happy, it is after all, the person I am. I am naturally a bubbly, happy, and though I hate the word, sometimes a “perky” person. I am glad that I am this way. It allows me to reach out to others, care about others, and bring others up when they are happy too. God made me this way and I am thankful.
Well last night I had someone point blank say to me: “You are too happy and perky. Why can’t you just be normal?” I am sure she was only joking, but I took it a bit to heart. You know how I responded? “Why are you always so negative?” I’ve had this same person make a comment like this before and honesty I think it stems from insecurity and jealousy.
I get tired of a few select friends {which I actually have separated myself from as of late} who try to bring me down. If you have friends that are bringing you down Ocean Dreamers – flee, don’t just walk away.
The Joys of Genre-blending
Blame it on psychology. According to all the personality tests I’ve taken over the years, and I’ve taken quite a few, I don’t fit neatly into any one category. I’m neither, I’m both, and only rarely do I achieve a balance between any two extremes. I even blur the line between introvert and extrovert. Perhaps that’s why I’m never completely happy with a book that isn’t just a little bit edgy or twisted or bent; one that doesn’t stretch or straddle the boundaries between genres; that doesn’t seek to blend disparate elements into one, unique whole.
The subject of genre-blending puts me in mind of the Thanksgiving episode of Friends where Rachel unintentionally combined parts of two different recipes—for English trifle and Shepherd’s pie—resulting in a dish that only Joey could appreciate: “Custard—good. Jam—good. Meat—gooood!”
Sometimes I feel that’s a lot like my own approach to story-crafting. A case in point would be my newest release, Iron, which combined several of my favorite sub-genres into what could be categorized as either a historical and/or a paranormal erotic romance. Is it more one than the other? I think I’m too close to the subject to know. Could it have worked as either a “straight” historical, or a “simple” paranormal, or even as a “non-erotic” historic-paranormal romance? Not for me, it couldn’t!Which makes me all the more fervently thankful for epubs and their willingness to accept a book on its own merit, and not its easy shelveability, so to speak. *g*
It’s not really the fault of traditional publishers, however, and I understand the problems they face. After all, a physical book must be shelved in an actual location—it can’t really occupy two places at once. A virtual book doesn’t have that limitation, it can exist in several sub-genres all at the same time.
I suspect that, as ebooks gain in popularity, we’ll see the rise of even more blended books until, someday, combinations such as sci-fi romantic suspense, comedic paranormal contemporaries, or cozy steampunk mysteries will be the norm.
And why not? Fantasy—good. Suspense—good. Erotic romance—gooood! Put ‘em all together and really…where’s the bad?
So what about you? Do you like your romance blended, or straight up? And what new combinations might you be eager to try?
PG Forte
www.pgforte.com
Love without Limits, Romance without Rules!
Blogs: www.rhymeswithforeplay.blogspot.com
www.ninenaughtynovelists.blogspot.com
News Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pgforte/
Newsletter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/The_Oberon_Chronicle/
A blacksmith with a tragic past, a faery princess with an uncertain future and a love that burns like iron.
When an immortal, shape-shifting fae arrives on his doorstep seeking shelter, Gavin O’Malley knows he’s in luck. For Aislinn can give him everything his life’s been missing. Now, all he has to do is find a way to keep her—without losing his soul in the process.
Buy here at Liquid Silver Book.
Read an excerpt here.
Marriage Advice: 3 Ways to Get Your Needs Met
***QUESTION FROM A READER:
“[My problem is] my husband’s inability to take the initiative in our relationship, to find what I like/want. He is unable to make me feel like a woman. I feel needed not loved.
“Is this his personality and can he change or is what we have now all there will ever be?
“If my needs cannot be met, I think I will try to leave this marriage again. I agreed to stay if things change. He believes he has changed dramatically, but he is even more insecure now.
“Why is it that it is mostly women who look for information to solve these problems? Men need to be made aware of how we feel, and start doing something about it.
“My husband admitted he knew I was unhappy but did not see divorce as an option. How long did he think a relationship could go on like this?”
>>>OUR COMMENTS:
Wow! We really hear you.
You, like a lot of other women, are tired of doing ALL the work on the relationship.
You want him to step up to the plate and and you feel like it’s not happening.
You say he’s unable to make you feel like a woman and you feel NEEDED not loved!
And he may not have a clue how to go about giving you what you want–let alone think of doing it on his own.
Now of course by answering this woman’s question, we are in no way implying that ALL men are like this–not being able to give the women they love what they want.
But what we do know from research–ours and others–as a broad generalization, (and we do mean broad) women are the ones who are more interested in personal growth and making their relationships better.
Women by in large are the ones who will lead their partners to therapy, coaching or relationship books and courses.
Again, as a generalization, men tend to seek out relationship help only when the relationship is falling apart and will end very soon if they don’t do something quickly.
Why is this?
Your Love Guide – Should You Do A Dating Exit Interview Of Your Dates?
If your potential romances seem to fizzle out without an apparent reason, you may be stuck in dead-end dating habits. Find out how a renowned dating coach used her Harvard Business School savvy to develop a bold dating strategy that could transform your dead-end dating habits.
What is this bold dating strategy?
Bestselling author and Harvard MBA, Rachel Greenwald, recommended that you do a dating exit interview of your ex-dates to get feedback on what went wrong or right so that you can improve your connection with future dates.
Greenwald developed this dating strategy while conducting interviews with 1000 single men to find out Why He Didn’t Call You Back — the title of her book based on these interviews (Crown Publishers).
Ms. Greenwald devoted several chapters explaining common reasons why men don’t call women back after a date. In one chapter she revealed common reasons why women lose interest in pursuing a dating relationship with men.
Her research revealed that 90 percent of women were wrong when they guessed why their date didn’t call them back. Men also tended to have little understanding why women lost interest in them.
Ms. Greenwald suggested that recurring behavior habits which you are unaware of may be sabotaging your dates and your potential relationships. She devised a dating exit interview strategy to change that.
Although Greenwald geared this dating strategy in her book to single women seeking feedback from men, I recommend that single men also consider using the same strategy to improve their dating habits.
How do you do a dating exit interview?
You ask someone that you know and trust to contact 3 to 6 of your former dates to ask them for dating feedback. Greenwald said that your former date is more likely to be honest with a third party conducting this interview, so it is best that you don’t do it yourself.
The exit-interview goal is not to reunite with your ex-date, but to find out if your personality traits or behavior patterns may have blocked your date’s interest in pursuing a dating relationship with you.
In Chapter 8, Ms. Greenwald suggested a complete script that your interviewer could use for telephone or email interviews. The gracious tone of the interview script is designed to put your former date at ease and help you to gain insights to improve your dating mindset and behavior.
If you were interviewing for a job, your job recruiter would seek feedback from a potential employer. I suggest that you to consider using Rachel Greenwald’s dating exit interview strategy to improve your dating skills and increase your chances of creating a healthy relationship.
And if you’re single and seeking to meet your great love, I invite you to enjoy a free month membership in the Singles Club Of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient, optimistic spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Start meeting savvy singles through video chats, book discussions and travel vacations in the Singles Club. Claim your free, 30-day trial membership when you click on SINGLES CLUB and sign up. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Friends Are Like Shoes
I don’t know why this analogy came to my mind the other day, but I think friends are like a pair of shoes. They come new and sparkly, shining their personality and ready to be there at your beck and call. You are the same way in return. You appreciate their new and friendly personality, thinking your friendship will never be the same. You cherish the shoes, you took time to save up for the shoes, you appreciate the shoes, and maybe the shoes become a wonderful friend.
But then…the shoes start getting worn out or you have had the shoes for a long time. Either the friendship changes, the shoes grow old, or new and bright shoes come along. Are you going to hold on to your old shoes? I try to the best I can, because sometimes those shoes are my favorite. They are reliable and even though they don’t always sparkle and shine, they still are my best shoes. I still love them just the same. I still invest in them to keep them happy and try to be there for them.
However, I have found that other shoes in return may want new sparkly shoes when you hit your low point. They aren’t there for you…they vanish all of a sudden, don’t stick around when you need advice, clam up and don’t tell you what’s wrong. Or, they get mad at you over silly things. I don’t understand why this happens. Why don’t shoes want to stick with other shoes that are true and reliable?
But maybe, just maybe…there a few jems that stick around through thick and thin. They stick with their favorite shoes. These shoes I am proud to call my friends, because even though these shoes may be worn and faded, they are lasting and loyal. They are always there when you need them. You are there for them in return.
Just like shoes, I think friendship is a two way street. You wouldn’t go walking around with just one shoe, right? Well, that is why you need both shoes. Both shoes walk together, talk together, and help support each other. This makes sense because if something is wrong with one shoe…then you help get the other shoe fixed.
Otherwise, friendship is difficult. Friendship is hard. And friendship requires work.
Lately I have found that I have a lot of shoes in my life. Shoes that are peppy, happy, down, sad, mad, unloving, selfish, polished, perfectionists, loyal, faithful, you name it. Now…I realize that all friendships last if you make the effort. But sometimes I don’t understand that just when you want to polish your shoes…they break off and leave. They don’t want to stick around.
All I know is, no matter the mistakes I have made, no matter how hard I try to keep my favorite shoes around, some may not want to stick around in return. I guess I just need to be at peace with that. I guess I need to learn that I can only do my best and the rest is up to those reliable shoes that I once had. I just get tired of finding new shoes when I love my reliable shoes so much. Why do the reliable shoes get up and leave when I have been a faithful friend? I know they may be going through something hard sometimes, but if only they would reach out to a helping hand!
I am thankful for my closest and dearest shoes. I will forever love them, whatever their decisions in life may be and whatever they are going through. I do have a few shoes that love me for who I am and know that I try my hardest to be there for them in return. Like I said, friends are like a pair of shoes. In the end…which shoes will you be there for? Will you forgive? Will you love deeper, trust more, and hope more? I will certainly try even though it is hard when the trust is broken. I hope you will too.
By the way, these shoes can be found here: Diavolina. Kind of expensive if you ask me, but who knows?
Maybe they are worth it.
The Joys of Genre-blending
Blame it on psychology. According to all the personality tests I’ve taken over the years, and I’ve taken quite a few, I don’t fit neatly into any one category. I’m neither, I’m both, and only rarely do I achieve a balance between any two extremes. I even blur the line between introvert and extrovert. Perhaps that’s why I’m never completely happy with a book that isn’t just a little bit edgy or twisted or bent; one that doesn’t stretch or straddle the boundaries between genres; that doesn’t seek to blend disparate elements into one, unique whole.
The subject of genre-blending puts me in mind of the Thanksgiving episode of Friends where Rachel unintentionally combined parts of two different recipes—for English trifle and Shepherd’s pie—resulting in a dish that only Joey could appreciate: “Custard—good. Jam—good. Meat—gooood!”
Sometimes I feel that’s a lot like my own approach to story-crafting. A case in point would be my newest release, Iron, which combined several of my favorite sub-genres into what could be categorized as either a historical and/or a paranormal erotic romance. Is it more one than the other? I think I’m too close to the subject to know. Could it have worked as either a “straight” historical, or a “simple” paranormal, or even as a “non-erotic” historic-paranormal romance? Not for me, it couldn’t!Which makes me all the more fervently thankful for epubs and their willingness to accept a book on its own merit, and not its easy shelveability, so to speak. *g*
It’s not really the fault of traditional publishers, however, and I understand the problems they face. After all, a physical book must be shelved in an actual location—it can’t really occupy two places at once. A virtual book doesn’t have that limitation, it can exist in several sub-genres all at the same time.
I suspect that, as ebooks gain in popularity, we’ll see the rise of even more blended books until, someday, combinations such as sci-fi romantic suspense, comedic paranormal contemporaries, or cozy steampunk mysteries will be the norm.
And why not? Fantasy—good. Suspense—good. Erotic romance—gooood! Put ‘em all together and really…where’s the bad?
So what about you? Do you like your romance blended, or straight up? And what new combinations might you be eager to try?
PG Forte
www.pgforte.com
Love without Limits, Romance without Rules!
Blogs: www.rhymeswithforeplay.blogspot.com
www.ninenaughtynovelists.blogspot.com
News Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pgforte/
Newsletter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/The_Oberon_Chronicle/
A blacksmith with a tragic past, a faery princess with an uncertain future and a love that burns like iron.
When an immortal, shape-shifting fae arrives on his doorstep seeking shelter, Gavin O’Malley knows he’s in luck. For Aislinn can give him everything his life’s been missing. Now, all he has to do is find a way to keep her—without losing his soul in the process.
Buy here at Liquid Silver Book.
Read an excerpt here.
Marriage Advice: 3 Ways to Get Your Needs Met
***QUESTION FROM A READER:
“[My problem is] my husband’s inability to take the initiative in our relationship, to find what I like/want. He is unable to make me feel like a woman. I feel needed not loved.
“Is this his personality and can he change or is what we have now all there will ever be?
“If my needs cannot be met, I think I will try to leave this marriage again. I agreed to stay if things change. He believes he has changed dramatically, but he is even more insecure now.
“Why is it that it is mostly women who look for information to solve these problems? Men need to be made aware of how we feel, and start doing something about it.
“My husband admitted he knew I was unhappy but did not see divorce as an option. How long did he think a relationship could go on like this?”
>>>OUR COMMENTS:
Wow! We really hear you.
You, like a lot of other women, are tired of doing ALL the work on the relationship.
You want him to step up to the plate and and you feel like it’s not happening.
You say he’s unable to make you feel like a woman and you feel NEEDED not loved!
And he may not have a clue how to go about giving you what you want–let alone think of doing it on his own.
Now of course by answering this woman’s question, we are in no way implying that ALL men are like this–not being able to give the women they love what they want.
But what we do know from research–ours and others–as a broad generalization, (and we do mean broad) women are the ones who are more interested in personal growth and making their relationships better.
Women by in large are the ones who will lead their partners to therapy, coaching or relationship books and courses.
Again, as a generalization, men tend to seek out relationship help only when the relationship is falling apart and will end very soon if they don’t do something quickly.
Why is this?
Your Love Guide – Should You Do A Dating Exit Interview Of Your Dates?
If your potential romances seem to fizzle out without an apparent reason, you may be stuck in dead-end dating habits. Find out how a renowned dating coach used her Harvard Business School savvy to develop a bold dating strategy that could transform your dead-end dating habits.
What is this bold dating strategy?
Bestselling author and Harvard MBA, Rachel Greenwald, recommended that you do a dating exit interview of your ex-dates to get feedback on what went wrong or right so that you can improve your connection with future dates.
Greenwald developed this dating strategy while conducting interviews with 1000 single men to find out Why He Didn’t Call You Back — the title of her book based on these interviews (Crown Publishers).
Ms. Greenwald devoted several chapters explaining common reasons why men don’t call women back after a date. In one chapter she revealed common reasons why women lose interest in pursuing a dating relationship with men.
Her research revealed that 90 percent of women were wrong when they guessed why their date didn’t call them back. Men also tended to have little understanding why women lost interest in them.
Ms. Greenwald suggested that recurring behavior habits which you are unaware of may be sabotaging your dates and your potential relationships. She devised a dating exit interview strategy to change that.
Although Greenwald geared this dating strategy in her book to single women seeking feedback from men, I recommend that single men also consider using the same strategy to improve their dating habits.
How do you do a dating exit interview?
You ask someone that you know and trust to contact 3 to 6 of your former dates to ask them for dating feedback. Greenwald said that your former date is more likely to be honest with a third party conducting this interview, so it is best that you don’t do it yourself.
The exit-interview goal is not to reunite with your ex-date, but to find out if your personality traits or behavior patterns may have blocked your date’s interest in pursuing a dating relationship with you.
In Chapter 8, Ms. Greenwald suggested a complete script that your interviewer could use for telephone or email interviews. The gracious tone of the interview script is designed to put your former date at ease and help you to gain insights to improve your dating mindset and behavior.
If you were interviewing for a job, your job recruiter would seek feedback from a potential employer. I suggest that you to consider using Rachel Greenwald’s dating exit interview strategy to improve your dating skills and increase your chances of creating a healthy relationship.
And if you’re single and seeking to meet your great love, I invite you to enjoy a free month membership in the Singles Club Of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient, optimistic spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Start meeting savvy singles through video chats, book discussions and travel vacations in the Singles Club. Claim your free, 30-day trial membership when you click on SINGLES CLUB and sign up. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Friends Are Like Shoes
I don’t know why this analogy came to my mind the other day, but I think friends are like a pair of shoes. They come new and sparkly, shining their personality and ready to be there at your beck and call. You are the same way in return. You appreciate their new and friendly personality, thinking your friendship will never be the same. You cherish the shoes, you took time to save up for the shoes, you appreciate the shoes, and maybe the shoes become a wonderful friend.
But then…the shoes start getting worn out or you have had the shoes for a long time. Either the friendship changes, the shoes grow old, or new and bright shoes come along. Are you going to hold on to your old shoes? I try to the best I can, because sometimes those shoes are my favorite. They are reliable and even though they don’t always sparkle and shine, they still are my best shoes. I still love them just the same. I still invest in them to keep them happy and try to be there for them.
However, I have found that other shoes in return may want new sparkly shoes when you hit your low point. They aren’t there for you…they vanish all of a sudden, don’t stick around when you need advice, clam up and don’t tell you what’s wrong. Or, they get mad at you over silly things. I don’t understand why this happens. Why don’t shoes want to stick with other shoes that are true and reliable?
But maybe, just maybe…there a few jems that stick around through thick and thin. They stick with their favorite shoes. These shoes I am proud to call my friends, because even though these shoes may be worn and faded, they are lasting and loyal. They are always there when you need them. You are there for them in return.
Just like shoes, I think friendship is a two way street. You wouldn’t go walking around with just one shoe, right? Well, that is why you need both shoes. Both shoes walk together, talk together, and help support each other. This makes sense because if something is wrong with one shoe…then you help get the other shoe fixed.
Otherwise, friendship is difficult. Friendship is hard. And friendship requires work.
Lately I have found that I have a lot of shoes in my life. Shoes that are peppy, happy, down, sad, mad, unloving, selfish, polished, perfectionists, loyal, faithful, you name it. Now…I realize that all friendships last if you make the effort. But sometimes I don’t understand that just when you want to polish your shoes…they break off and leave. They don’t want to stick around.
All I know is, no matter the mistakes I have made, no matter how hard I try to keep my favorite shoes around, some may not want to stick around in return. I guess I just need to be at peace with that. I guess I need to learn that I can only do my best and the rest is up to those reliable shoes that I once had. I just get tired of finding new shoes when I love my reliable shoes so much. Why do the reliable shoes get up and leave when I have been a faithful friend? I know they may be going through something hard sometimes, but if only they would reach out to a helping hand!
I am thankful for my closest and dearest shoes. I will forever love them, whatever their decisions in life may be and whatever they are going through. I do have a few shoes that love me for who I am and know that I try my hardest to be there for them in return. Like I said, friends are like a pair of shoes. In the end…which shoes will you be there for? Will you forgive? Will you love deeper, trust more, and hope more? I will certainly try even though it is hard when the trust is broken. I hope you will too.
By the way, these shoes can be found here: Diavolina. Kind of expensive if you ask me, but who knows?
Maybe they are worth it.