Your Love Guide – Do You Know How to Star in Your Own Love Story?
Whether you’re enjoying a romantic relationship or seeking one, you will create a more fulfilling relationship with your romantic co-star as soon as you learn how to be the star in your own love story.
When you star in a film, you and your co-star are expected to re-do a scene over and over until you get it right. When you star in your real-life love story, your chances for Take Two with your co-star often depend on whether you are in a dating relationship or doing scenes from a marriage.
You rarely get a chance for Take Two with your co-star in a dating relationship. If you screw up a scene with your date, there’s often someone in the wings who’s eagerly waiting to take your place (or your date’s place, for that matter).
What about a marriage?
If there’s a mutual commitment and dedication with your co-star in your marital love story, you may get a chance to redo and rework issues until you get them right.
Unfortunately, it’s a tragic reality that your eager competition can be lurking in the wings of your marriage, waiting for a vulnerable moment so they can jump in and replace you by co-starring with your mate.
How do you avoid that heartbreaking fate?
Learn how to star in your own love story now. This preparation has nothing to do with your co-star. It’s about you.
Simply make sure that you are always ready for your closeup.
How?
Are you fit in body-mind-spirit?
Are you strong enough to face the challenge in each scene?
Are you resilient enough to bend instead of break?
Do you see each take of a scene, not as a mistake but as a chance to bring out the best in you?
Are you in touch with your emotions, feeling free to give and receive love?
Do you speak your truth from your heart, aware of how your words will affect someone?
Have you learned how to listen as an act of love?
Do you use your talents and pursue your dreams every day?
Do you ease stress and build health with wholesome thoughts, foods, exercise, friends?
Have you identified challenges in your life and created various plans to overcome them (in case you need Take Two or Take Ten)
Do you see and savor all the wonders of you?
Being ready for your closeup means that you strengthen your strengths and fall in love again with yourself first– so that your inner beauty shines through, guides you and supports you.
Your healthy self love is a love magnet that attracts more love. It is the foundation for the resilient optimism that fuels your passionate choices and personal triumphs.
As you star in your own love story, your co-star will rise up to match your radiance — either in a existing relationship or as you cast your new co-star who loves all the wonders of you.
And if you’re single and seeking to meet your great love, I invite you to enjoy a free month membership in the Singles Club Of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient, optimistic spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Start meeting savvy singles through video chats, special events and travel vacations. Claim your free, 30-day trial membership now. Simply click on SINGLES CLUB in the menu bar and sign up. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Break Up Survival Guide – Are You Living In Fear Of Being Alone For The Rest Of Your Life?
A bad break up or lonely bout of lost love often cause two common side effects: You may feel less desirable and more afraid of being alone for the rest of your life. Learn a remedy that turns your break up fears into love for your new single life when you use 2 Love Tips:
1. Face Your Fears
Many newly-single men and women escape the pain and fear of being alone with pain killers like alcohol, pharmaceuticals, over working, over-eating, over-sleeping, over dating.
Instead of numbing your fears, I recommend that you face them. Then you can find a path out of them.
Are you afraid of:
*sleeping alone
*eating alone
*staying stuck in painful emotions
*forgetting your dreams of adventure travel, work success, romantic love
*facing health challenges alone
*never feeling appreciated
*shutting down your sexual desires
*growing old without giving or receiving romantic love again
*never finding a love match as wonderful as your former love
*creating debt instead of building wealth
*raising children alone as a single parent
*feeling isolated from friends whom you enjoyed as a couple
*being stuck in dead-end job or directionless dating
*feeling drained of energy and enthusiasm with no way to recharge your joyful vitality
2. Find The Remedy For Each Fear
Once you jot down your unvarnished list of your deepest, most painful fears, you are ready to find the remedy for each fear.
A single remedy often ease many fears at once — whatever you’re missing, lacking or afraid that you won’t receive from someone else, simply give this to yourself as a way to fulfill your own needs, wants, desires.
Feeling unappreciated and unloved?
Find ways to express hearty appreciation and love to yourself every day.
Feeling stuck on your ex, or in negative emotions or life circumstances?
Take positive steps each day to let go of past and start fresh with positive outlook and action plans.
Feeling disconnected from former friends or your delayed dreams?
Reach out and make connections with new single friends for dining, travel, seminars, book discussions or courses that are your guide to greater health, wealth, success and love.
Feeling shut out of romantic love?
Join a matchmaking service or internet dating site that connects you with a new community of savvy singles who create an adventure out of finding your next great love and living your dreams now.
And if you’re single and ready to meet your great love or travel companions, I invite you to enjoy a free month membership in the Singles Club Of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient, optimistic spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Start meeting savvy singles through video chats, special events and travel vacations. Claim your free, 30-day trial membership now. Simply click on SINGLES CLUB on the menu bar and sign up. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Love Your Life – Is There Secret Optimism in Your Defensive Pessimism?
I often tell my online community, “What you see will be, as long as you take correct action.” A resilient, optimistic outlook and action plan unites us into a tribe and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs. Now I’ve read about the revenge of the pessimists. Find out why defensive pessimism may be optimism in disguise.
What is defensive pessimism?
“It is a strategy used to manage fear, anxiety and worry,” says Julie K. Norem, Ph.D.
A psychology professor at Wellesley College, Dr. Norem told O Magazine that defensive pessimists prepare for a situation by setting low expectations for themselves, then follow up with a very detailed assessment of everything that may go wrong.
Once they’ve imagined a full range of bad outcomes, they figure out how to handle them. This gives them a sense of control.
This reminds me of the outlook and action plan of business lawyers, who often earn hundreds an hour for anticipating every possible legal hurdle in a client’s business plan and figuring out how to leap over them on a client’s behalf. This is a lucrative and successful way of thinking for your client, so I expected to read a positive report about using defensive pessimism to achieve your personal goals.
Why are defensive pessimists successful?
Dr. Norem conducted research on this phenomenon and used it as the basis for her book, The Positive Power Of Negative Thinking, in 2001.
I’ve summarized the strategy for you. Defensive pessimists tend to be successful people who use negative thinking about possible outcomes as a tool to motivate positive actions that avoid or overcome negative results.
So it’s not the whiny, glass is half full style of pessimism that stops you from taking positive actions and keeps you stuck in negativity and limiting beliefs. I trust that these pessimists could get unstuck if they became defensive pessimists who manage negativity and work effectively toward their goals.
A note of caution: You can’t ask a defensive pessimists to see the bright side, for the same reason you can’t ask a business lawyer to overlook the obstacles in your business plan.
Defensive pessimists focus first on what might go wrong and then think about ways to prevent bad things from happening. Then they take actions that produces positive results. This is why defensive pessimism is another form of optimism.
I hope you’ll use some defensive pessimism or resilient optimism to improve your life and love life. And if you’re single and seeking your great love, I invite you to claim a free, one-month trial membership in the Singles Club of Tribe Of Blondes.
Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs. Start meeting savvy singles in video chats, special events and travel vacations. Click SINGLES CLUB in the menu bar. Claim your free, 30-day trial membership now. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Your Sexual Health – Do You Know How Sexual Abstinence Harms Your Health and Happiness?
Doctors tell us that sexual abstinence can harm the physical and psychic health of men and women. Find out how you can reverse the harmful side effects of abstinence with or without a sexual partner.
How can sexual abstinence harm your health?
You may be grieving the loss of your romantic partner or a loss of sexual intimacy in a relationship, and the process of grieving takes a huge toll on your health. When your thoughts turn to loss and dis-ease, you lose the health benefits of feeling love and gratitude — our two healing emotions.
You may feel content on your own without a sexual partner, yet the lack of sexual activity takes its health toll.
Men and women who abstain from sex for long periods can develop problems with sexual function.
Men may experience issues concerning erection and ejaculation. Testosterone levels may fall and reduce desire.
Women may suffer a loss of arousal, vaginal lubrication and an inability to climax. Estrogen levels may fall and bad cholesterol may rise.
Fortunately, these conditions may reverse and return to normal after you resume sexual activity.
Men and women who abstain from sex miss out on these health benefits of sexual activity:
*ease in handling stress
*speedy cell repair and regeneration
*increased intimacy hormones that elevate mood
*greater blood flow to brain that improves memory
*stronger immune system and less fatigue or illness
*younger skin and less body fat from human growth hormone produced during sex
*extended longevity
If you don’t have a sexual partner, is there another way to gain these health benefits?
Researchers report that our sexual health must be maintained by a regular and active sex life.
If you don’t have a sexual partner, there are several ways to avoid or reverse the side effects of sexual abstinence:
* Substitute sex with masturbation
Men often masturbate, even when their sex life is in order.
Many women do not masturbate, even when deprived of sex.
Some religions view it as a sin.
Sexual researchers report that masturbation is one way to maintain sexual and psychic health. Here is another:
* Use sex toys
They are used by adults who cannot make love with a beloved partner, yet they don’t want to sleep around.
There are vibrators, realistic dolls, dildos that are safe tools for sexual release.
Unlike casual sex with a partner, the sex toys cannot expose you to STDs.
They stimulate the health benefits of an active sex life.
* Develop sexual intimacy in a relationship
Improve your existing relationship so that you revive the spark of sexual fire for an active, healthy sex life.
Find a compatible match for a loving, passionate relationship through matchmaking services or online dating sites.
Health studies confirm that you will age better and live a happier, healthier life when you enjoy an active sex life.
And if you’re single and seeking to meet your great love and create a healthy, passionate relationship, I invite you to enjoy a free month membership in the Singles Club Of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient, optimistic spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Start meeting savvy singles in video chats, special events and travel vacations. Simply click on SINGLES CLUB on the menu bar. Claim your free, 30-day trial membership now. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Online Dating Guide – Do You Know How To Flirt With A Virtual Date?
Whether you are dating online or offline, you will improve your chances of sparking romantic or sexual interest in your virtual date when you develop the attraction skill of flirting.
What is flirting?
It is the process of making playful romantic or sexual overtures that express your attraction and test the level of interest in a potential romantic partner.
The goal of flirting is to spark sexual attraction, not the tender affection of friendship.
How do you flirt?
When you feel attracted to someone you meet in person, you adopt the mindset and actions of flirting. Researchers report that these behaviors trigger attraction:
*Keep a playful sense of mystery about you, giving partial clues to the real facts of your work or relationship history.
*Rev up your sexy attitude, knowing you’re a great catch and this person is lucky to meet you, even briefly
*Feel confident and give yourself all the approval you need so you do not seek approval nor make apologies to a potential date
*Say the opposite of what you might feel as a way to shake off your fear and try a new way of interacting
*Say something funny to see if they laugh or enjoy your sense of humor
*Hold eye contact or touch their hand when you make casual conversation, testing if this sparks mutual interest
What are these signs of interest?
Researchers describe the signs using this scenario at a bar:
While chatting with a man, a woman may slowly stroke the rim of her glass, indirectly or strongly teasing and stimulating him. She knows what he likes and how to make him squirm.
This is when a man may uncross his legs, open them, and point his crotch to her. His body language tells her that he’s ready to make her happy whenever she’s ready. This flirting sparked sexual attraction, as intended.
What if you flirt with someone and they don’t flirt back?
Think, NEXT. Then move on to the next person who triggers your feelings of attraction.
How do you flirt with virtual dates online?
Popular online daters are bombarded with flirting messages or online icons, so they don’t bother to open them — thinking, “If you don’t care enough to write a note, I don’t care about your timid hello.”
This is why flirting timidly won’t help you get noticed on internet dating sites.
You can use the same flirting techniques we described earlier to express interest and spark attraction in your emails or video chats with virtual dates. If this virtual flirting is successful, the next step is to meet and see what feelings arise when you flirt face to face.
And if you’re single and seeking your great love, I invite you to enjoy a free month membership in the Singles Club of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient hopeful spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Meet savvy singles for video chats, TelePowWows and travel vacations. Claim your free, 30-day trial membership now. Simply click SINGLES CLUB on the Menu Bar at the top of this page. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Dating After Divorce – Are You Making A Big Dating Mistake That Stops You From Loving Again?
If you are dating after divorce and feeling disappointed by a series of dead-end dates, you may be making this big dating mistake that stops you from loving again. I’d like you to understand the big dating mistake that I unwittingly repeated for a couple years after my long marriage ended in divorce so that you can avoid it.
What was my big dating mistake after divorce?
I was eager to duplicate my intimate connection, style of communication and roles that I played in my marriage with a new intimate partner.
Why?
This was the only relationship that I’d known in my adult life. I had learned about love as a wife and mother. I hadn’t dated much before I met and married my former husband. So I knew how to love, not how to date. This was my comfort zone, and I had no idea that I had to break out of it if I wanted to love again.
How did I break out of my comfort zone?
I learned how to date.
I traded my mom clothes for still hot mama clothes when I went out on a date.
I joined a matchmaking service that introduced me to a creative or professional date once a week over lunch.
I learned how to use the internet so that I could join an online dating site — after my 13 year old daughter encouraged me to do so when she gave me the film, “You’ve Got Mail.”
Since my only travel adventures had been with my husband and eventually with our children, I traveled solo to two continents to show myself that I could do this — with unexpected dating advice from my teenage children.
I let go of unrealistic love tests that I presented on dates, like waiting for love at first sight like I’d felt when I met my former husband.
I stopped seeking The One and started creating friendships with great single men I met on 3 continents.
I recovered from a mysterious injury that nearly destroyed my hope of loving again.
I revived my career dreams and took action on them every day, and I was delighted by the album of songs, novel, podcast show and singles club that grew out of my break up and rebirth.
I realized that I was too busy to nurture a romantic relationship while I dedicated myself to launching my kids and fulfilling my career goals.
I gave myself a chance to grow into the new woman I was becoming before I entered a new relationship.
I regained balance in my personal and professional life, so that I have freedom to focus on a new relationship.
I let go of a desire to duplicate the intimacy or roles that I once played in my marriage, so that I finally feel free to love again.
I hope this helps you enjoy dating after divorce. When you focus on becoming your best you after divorce and before you enter a serious dating relationship, you will attract a love match who appreciates the new you as you develop a new vision for a happy relationship.
And if you’re single and seeking your great love, I invite you to claim a free, one-month trial membership in the Singles Club of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Start meeting savvy singles for video chats, book discussions, social events and travel vacations. Claim your free, 30-day membership now. Simply click on SINGLES CLUB in the menu bar. Enjoy!
Dedicated to you dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
Pow Wow Shows Episode 7_Will You Let A Marketing Genius Help You Write Your Best Dating Profile?
Learn how to create your best online dating profile that attracts your ideal love match
with expert tips from a marketing genius known as Google.
Your Love Guide – Do You Know How To Use An Ancient Act of Love To Create A Happy Relationship?
If you love to lead conversations with your wit, wisdom or strong views, this habit could be your biggest block to a loving relationship. Fortunately, you can leap over this love block when you learn how to use an ancient act of love to create healthy, happy relationships.
Why are great conversation skills a love block?
You may think you’re impressing, entertaining or educating your dates or your mate when you constantly explain the world according to you. When you take charge of conversations, you may think you’ve mastered the art of talking.
Here’s your reality check. Constant talking is an annoying habit that shows a total lack of concern or awareness of your audience. That’s why it’s a love block. You can break through that block by using an ancient act of love.
What is this ancient act of love?
Listening. Constant talkers tend to be lousy listeners. You can break that bad habit when you learn how to balance your communication skills and become a power listener.
What is a power listener?
A power listener improves communication in relationships by using several listening tools. These tools were explained during my interview with Ken Donaldson, a master relationship coach and author of Marry Yourself First — Saying “I Do” To A Life Of Power Purpose And Passion. I’ve summarized Ken’s explanation of these listening skills for you.
A power listener uses intuition and introspection to be fully present with another person during a conversation for the purpose of thoroughly hearing and understanding the other person.
Why is this so important?
When you thoroughly listen, you create a powerful communication dynamic that deepens your relationships and forms powerful boundaries at the same time. A power listener eliminates unnecessary conflict and creates a more powerful, aware presence.
How do you become a power listener?
* By letting go of your own agendas, opinions, judgments and/or advice
* By being present with the other person and disconnecting from your need to inject your own thoughts
* By inviting the other person to say more
* By asking for clarification when you are unclear about what is being said
* By offering understanding when you really get what the other person is conveying
* By being an objective listener and ovserver since this is all about understanding (and not about agreeing) so there is no right or wrong
* By letting go of criticism
* By listening with all of your senses and your intuition to really gain a thorough experience of the other person’s communication
* By asking the other person what they would like from you. If they request input or advice, then feel free to offer it. But if not, be prepared to just offer your power listening.
What are the benefits of being a power listener?
If you want to enjoy healthy, lasting and fulfilling relationships, you need to become an effective communicator. The best communicator does the most powerful listening. This is an ancient act of love that helps you improve existing relationships or create a healthy, happy new relationship.
And if you’re single and seeking your great love, I invite you to enjoy a free, one-month trial membership in the Singles Club of Tribe Of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.
Meet savvy singles through video chats, book discussions and travel vacations. Claim your free, 30-day membership when you click on SINGLES CLUB at the top of this page. Enjoy!
Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,
Hadley Finch
This Duchess Of Mine
Baseball season’s in full swing. We’re Mets fans in my house, but at work, I am surrounded by Yankees fans. And let’s face it. It’s hard enough as is to be a Mets fan.
As my husband often laments at the end of a game, “Yup, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory again.” But he did enjoy going to the new stadium, and they did win that night.
However, I’m not really here to talk about baseball. I wanted to advise you to break out your mitt! You’re going to need it to catch a copy of Eloisa James’s latest release, THIS DUCHESS OF MINE, because it is flying off the shelves!
Take me back from the ballgame, take me back to the gowns. Buy me some Romantic poetry and Georgian attire, so I can catch the eye of a remarkable duke…
Okay, enough, enough!! I couldn’t help myself. 
But, seriously, you have to check out Eloisa’s new book. She creates rich, involving characters and sets them down in the vibrant Georgian period. This is the passionate story of the Duke and Duchess of Beaumont. Swirling in scandal, they have been apart for many years, since the moment the newlywed Duchess fled, and are now coming together again for the age-old purpose of begetting an heir. And much to her shock, the seductive duchess is faced with the challenge of making a man fall in love…with his own wife.
But don’t take my word for it. Get this book and I’m sure you’ll gobble it up before the seventh inning stretch!
Hey, anyone out there have a good baseball romance story? The summer after college, I worked in a restaurant in Boston’s Faneuil Hall. Great fun. One evening, I came in to work and noticed one of our off-duty bartenders in a baseball uniform (the restaurant had a team and I didn’t even know it). Tall, slim, handsome, great smile. It was the first time he really caught my eye. Not long after that night, we started dating (and lasted till that summer ended), and I discovered that he had played baseball at the University of Arizona. Greatest athlete I ever dated–except, of course, for my husband who is a volleyball star!
I don’t know where the baseball theme to this blog came from. If you’re not a baseball fan, do you have any favorite romance novels that you can recommend to all those baseball widows out there or, to the fans who need a book that’s so wonderfully engaging, it’ll vie for their attention during the game? Do tell!
This Duchess Of Mine
Baseball season’s in full swing. We’re Mets fans in my house, but at work, I am surrounded by Yankees fans. And let’s face it. It’s hard enough as is to be a Mets fan.As my husband often laments at the end of a game, “Yup, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory again.” But he did enjoy going to the new stadium, and they did win that night.
However, I’m not really here to talk about baseball. I wanted to advise you to break out your mitt! You’re going to need it to catch a copy of Eloisa James’s latest release, THIS DUCHESS OF MINE, because it is flying off the shelves!
Take me back from the ballgame, take me back to the gowns. Buy me some Romantic poetry and Georgian attire, so I can catch the eye of a remarkable duke…
Okay, enough, enough!! I couldn’t help myself.
But, seriously, you have to check out Eloisa’s new book. She creates rich, involving characters and sets them down in the vibrant Georgian period. This is the passionate story of the Duke and Duchess of Beaumont. Swirling in scandal, they have been apart for many years, since the moment the newlywed Duchess fled, and are now coming together again for the age-old purpose of begetting an heir. And much to her shock, the seductive duchess is faced with the challenge of making a man fall in love…with his own wife.
But don’t take my word for it. Get this book and I’m sure you’ll gobble it up before the seventh inning stretch!
Hey, anyone out there have a good baseball romance story? The summer after college, I worked in a restaurant in Boston’s Faneuil Hall. Great fun. One evening, I came in to work and noticed one of our off-duty bartenders in a baseball uniform (the restaurant had a team and I didn’t even know it). Tall, slim, handsome, great smile. It was the first time he really caught my eye. Not long after that night, we started dating (and lasted till that summer ended), and I discovered that he had played baseball at the University of Arizona. Greatest athlete I ever dated–except, of course, for my husband who is a volleyball star!
I don’t know where the baseball theme to this blog came from. If you’re not a baseball fan, do you have any favorite romance novels that you can recommend to all those baseball widows out there or, to the fans who need a book that’s so wonderfully engaging, it’ll vie for their attention during the game? Do tell!
